It’s a Treat! It’s a Snack! It Shouldn’t Be This Confusing!
I love Target. If you know me, you know that already. If you know me really well, such as if you’re married to me, are my child, or are my friend on Facebook, you also know how floaty I’ve been feeling since a new, shiny-fresh Target has opened less than a mile from my home. Target being Target, they’ve, er, targeted their ads and coupons right at me, and a flyer with some coupons touting their fresh-food area arrived at our house the other day. (I already got my free dozen eggs, thanks).
But then this portion of the several-page, glossy ad piece upset me:
Snacks? I don’t see a single snack here, unless maybe you extract some nuts and raisins from that trail mix. These? These are treats.
Because those aren’t snacks.
Those are treats.
Oh, I know, I know — I’m being fussy. But am I? I have no problem with treats! I love treats! I eat treats! I’ve been known to eat nearly all the treats shown here, though I have to say, weirdly, that Oreos don’t really move me, go figure (I’m not a packaged-cookie kind of gal, though show me a plate of homemade chocolate chip cookies and you better be prepared to get out of my way). But I do believe that the crossing of lines between snacks and treats has messed some of us up.
Because snacks are a good thing; we need them — our kids need them even more. So if we start mixing up treats and snacks, it starts to seem like no big deal if instead of an apple and some cheese for snack, you give the kid Oreos and a YooHoo. One of those is made of food. The other is… not.
My fourth-grader landed a teacher this year who is into fitness and nutrition. During curriculum night, he pleaded with parents to send in a healthy snack — or at the very least not junk. He acknowledged how much they need a boost mid-morning (in this school, the fourth graders pulled the latest lunch period, about 1pm. My kid eats breakfast at 7, so yeah, around 11 he’s going to need something), but told us that if that “boost” consisted of sugar and food dye, he’d have raving lunatics on his hands an hour later, and heads on desks an hour after that.
And yet, there are parents (I have talked to them) who feel resentful if they can’t send in Oreos, as though some sort of deprivation were at hand.
And it strikes me that one reason for this may be the confusion (Target, I am talking to you!) between “snack” and “treat.” We hear “you can’t have cookies or chips or candy for snack” and that feels like punishment rather than a sensible idea.
What do you think?
Oh, and, opinions, please: What might you do if you were the parent of one of my son’s classmates who was told (or so I hear through my son) that she couldn’t have the candy (not cookies, not chips, but candy) that she had brought in for snack?
October 25, 2013 @ 5:49 pm
I got my eggs too. And my shiny new target is like a quarter of a mile away. So there.
Last year, I was debating saying something to my daughters K teacher about all the sugar at their parties. Maybe my standards are higher but I almost died when I saw log cabin syrup at the pancake party (we only do real maple syrup) and super junky juice boxes. I didn’t want to be the party pooper sugar police but I was uncomfortable with it.
This year both kids have teachers who are less treaty, and both specifically asked us to pack healthy lunches. Treats are fine, but the kids are not allowed to eat them, or anything chocolatey including milk, until lunch. Period. The school issued a school wide ban on lunchables this year. And a couple of weeks ago, a letter came home saying in no cases are parents to bring their kids fast food at lunchtime, and no soda.
I have not heard any parents complain yet, but in my group of friends, the reaction was more, who on earth brings their kid fast food for lunch?
October 25, 2013 @ 6:06 pm
I’m jealous your son has a teacher who has an awareness of “junk” versus “snack” and is willing to be the “bad guy” and put the kibosh on it! I caught the teacher’s aide in my son’s preschool class rolling her eyes at me the other day when I told my son he couldn’t have a THIRD cookie, since two was a serving and he’d already had two. Now, if I could only convince my kids’ school that pajama day is gross and we should be encouraging kids to take some pride in the way they dress for school, I’d be happier and so would my kids…who give me the “stink eye” when they are the only ones in class in “appropriate” clothing! Lol….oh the struggles of mean moms…
October 25, 2013 @ 7:56 pm
What’s gross about pajama day? My kids wear uniforms to school so the occasional out of uniform day is fun. As long as the pajamas are appropriate, I can’t say I understand why it’s a problem. Especially if its only one day. I go to the grocery store in sweats sometimes. How I look is less important than how I act.
October 28, 2013 @ 9:57 am
Admittedly, I am, well, repulsed by pajamas outside of the home. The guy at the gas station getting gas in pajama pants? Gross. My kids’ teachers wearing pajamas to school (lacy neckline included!)? Gross. I feel like I am “peeking” into someone’s private attire. In addition, it seems like my kids’ school (a private, parochial school even!) uses ANY occasion to have a pajama day. Spirit week–pajama day! Red Ribbon Week–pajama day! Ugh.
Maybe gross is the wrong word–it’s just the first word that comes to mind. I am a high school teacher. I see clothing daily that would make the most liberal Democrat in the world shudder–and I am uber-liberal myself. My coworkers and I discuss it as an “epidemic” (granted that is a tad melodramatic, but it’s pretty bad).
Overall, I just see so many inappropriate items of clothing on a daily (hourly, actually) basis that I have become hyper-sensitive to it and, therefore, I am vigilant about my own kids’ clothing and the appropriateness of wearing certain items.
Sorry for the long reply…I’m cursed with long-windedness.
October 29, 2013 @ 2:01 pm
Sara, ha! Grown people (not just kids!) wearing PJs or clothes that look like them out and about in the world is a bugaboo of mine, too. “Get dressed!” I want to shout, “you’re at the mall!” But pajama day at school is fun.
October 25, 2013 @ 8:56 pm
My kids have pajama day once a year, usually for spirit week. They (well, my girls, the 5 year old boy, not so much) take plenty of pride in their appearance. One day a year certainly won’t hurt! Treats are treats, snacks are snacks. For school snacks, we do nuts, dried fruit, popcorn, but I admit, sometimes they get something in the “gray’ area, like a granola bar or pretzels. They have no way to keep their snacks cold, and get plenty of fruits an veggies in their lunch, so they won’t want a repeat. We NEVER have cookies or chips or the like as a snack. Those are most definitely a treat. This is also very subjective. Some folks may find wheat crackers or cheese and crackers or peanut butter a “treat”. I think they don’t make a half bad snack!
October 26, 2013 @ 6:53 am
Ohhhhh, D, see my soapbox? See it? Because I’m stepping onto it right now. You know how I feel about this. Junk “food” (quotes–because it’s NOT food) had NO PLACE in schools. Study after study supports the fact that when kids eat real, healthy-sustaining and whole foods, they do better in school, have less discipline issues and can concentrate. That other stuff messes them up. Public schools (can’t speak for private) should have Wellness Policies and regulations to uphold them that, if they don’t eliminate the junk in school, should keep it to a minimum. We can’t tell parents not to send their own children with crap in their lunch boxes, that’s their choice, but they do not have the right to distribute to other kids in the class. In our district, we have virtually eliminated candy and sugar from classroom holiday and party celebrations and while it was an adjustment at first, no one misses it now. And before anyone says, “but they should have a little treat,” please. They get plenty of candy and sugar at home during the holidays and on their birthdays. They don’t need it in school. As for the mother of that child, someone should suggest she read a little more about nutrition, wellness and kids’ health. Tell her to save the candy for home. She can do better at school. Seriously.
October 26, 2013 @ 10:11 am
I subscribe to the same sensibility, though I think my kids might have some confusion since I’ve been known to include treats as part of a meal (potato chips as a side for a sandwich, for example). My greatest sources of mommy guilt has always been food (I’m never healthy enough) and TV (I always allow too much screen time), so I would love and appreciate my child’s teacher helping me emphasize that food is fuel with the occasional treat. But I hear a lot of the same moaning and groaning from parents AND teachers around my neighborhood. “How dare the school tell ME what my kid can’t eat!?” “It’s a violation of my freedom!” . . . I actually had a friend tell me that Michelle Obama’s school lunches were ruining the schools – RUINING them! I called her out on that BS. I told her the same thing I express sort of in general: Look, if you want people to make good decisions when you know temptation will overide good judgment, give them two good choices. It’s not about limitations. It’s about taking your unconscious out of the equation. Not to mention the fact that I don’t want my kid to be forced to have unhealthy foods. So there’s plenty of adjustment to go around.
And as for the teacher who asks parents not to send cookies to help get a kid through the morning? Well, when our kids were toddlers, we didn’t let them go to daycare with their favorite toy so that they would get into fights over playing with it. Same situation. If some kids come with Oreos and some with celery and peanut butter, the horse trading that is a normal response to seeing someone else with a treat will cause problems aside from the nutritional issues. Sometimes the good of the class is more important than expressing individual rights. I would totally support the teacher in this case.
October 26, 2013 @ 11:32 am
My argument for parents who say it’s not fair that they can’t send in loads of sugar and junk for their kids and the class has always been that it’s not fair you get to give that stuff to my kid in school when he doesn’t get it at home. Whose rights are being violated, really? Give me a break. When we were kids, you were lucky if you got a cupcake for a birthday party once a month. Today, everything is an excuse to load them up with sugar and processed junk. I just don’t get it.
October 26, 2013 @ 9:56 pm
My MIL gave me such a hard time at the beginning of the year for refusing to send my kindergartner with a treat in his lunch box. First of all, he buys a milk every day at lunch, and always chooses chocolate milk. I decided from the beginning to be ok with this, because I didn’t want to outright forbid something I had little control over anyway. But, I do consider chocolate milk a treat – which my son understands.
Beyond the chocolate milk, though, there wasn’t one day that he didn’t also end up with some sort of treat either at snack time or at after school kids club. Inevitably, someone would bring cupcakes, or cookies, or “cheesey crackers” (which I’m not even sure contain actual cheese).
I do, occasionally, send something in his lunch…just like I also sometimes I send a “trick” (like a plastic bug).
But, why should I send him *another* treat when he’s already getting so many? I bake enough at home as it is.
October 28, 2013 @ 5:38 pm
Denise, you probably remember me as a long-time health and nutrition writer — so you can imagine how I feel about this now that I have an almost-5-year-old!
It’s a constant battle — not with my kid, because he LOVES fruits and vegetables and cheese and whole grain bread — but with others. Like grandma, who takes the grandkids to Wendy’s. My kid gets a milk and apple slices, but do I want him to be influenced by the advertising for pink-slime hamburgers and “chicken” nuggets? (Did you know that chicken processors are now allowed to outsource to China?)
I thought I’d be avoiding some of this by homeschooling, but the moms at some of the classes we take have begun bringing in treats almost every session. Does a kid need a sweet every time he sits down for something? And I hate to be the PITA mom not letting her kid have candy when everyone else is.
October 29, 2013 @ 2:00 pm
Linda,
Thanks for weighing in — first time, right?! Your kid is only 5, so I guess you’re a relative newbie to the world of “if kids are in the same room/area for more than 30 minutes they need a snack.” That’s something I’ve been fighting back against (by,for example, nixing the post-soccer-game treat that used to be commonplace, which I was able to do because my husband is the coach! Guess what? Everyone got over it and is fine with half-time oranges only).
Denise
November 6, 2013 @ 4:56 pm
YES…it seems like every time the kids’ butt hits a chair, someone wants to offer them a treat. I just reinstituted the rule that he gets one sweet per day, because it’s so hard for him to resist when all the other kids are eating sweets. So if a homeschooling co-op mom wants to offer store-bought cookies, he has to choose between that now and a home-baked cookie later. He’s good at waiting!
By the way, T will now no longer eat Greek yogurt with fruit (which I consider a snack) because my mom gives him artificially-sweetened, flavored, and colored pink “yogurt” (which I consider a treat).
October 29, 2013 @ 1:22 pm
Denise… thank you for bringing this up again. I feel myself cringing this week for what I have realized is “over treat season.” It starts just before Halloween with the parties at school and church (full of junk food, but, they remain my preferred Halloween events because the junk doesn’t come home with us.) Then there is trick-or-treating, of course. We allow one piece of candy a day, and it seems to last through Christmas. Then there’s Thanksgiving (major overeating holiday. And does it seem like everyone wants to bring a dessert? It feels like there are more dessert dishes than main course dishes now.) And of course Christmas… cookies, pies, candy, chocolate, parties. No wonder the world is filled with diet stuff in January. Are we setting our kids up for a binge and diet cycle?
October 31, 2013 @ 2:20 pm
I agree with Denise. There is a difference between a snack and a treat. Snacks should be things like fruits, veggies, or a cheese stick. Treats should not be given at school regularly. It also bothered me when my daughter was younger and played on a soccer team that they were given “snacks” that usually consisted of chips, cookies and sugary drinks after EVERY game. It’s like what is point of the healthy activity of running and playing ball for 30-45 minutes to then consume 600+ calories of junk food afterwards. I wish all teachers and coaches were sensible enough to tell parents to stop sending junk foods to school and other events.
November 22, 2013 @ 10:54 am
We have the treat-vs-snack war too. I have it drilled into my kids’ heads that snacks are appropriate all the time and treats are for special occasions. My daughter’s school has snack time and lunch time and she is extremely good about packing a healthy snack and healthy lunch. We are also fortunate enough to live in an area with a preppy public school that grows all their own produce for the salad bar and only serves organic, natural foods at all times. Overboard? Yes, a little, but SO MUCH BETTER than the crap I refused to eat growing up. Plus she knows more about gardening than I do at this point because the kids do all the work. The ads are a pet peeve of mine, labeling these as “snacks” completely undermines everything I do as a parent, as well as everything our community does for our kids. Peer pressure is intense, even as an adult… I wouldn’t dare offer the neighbor kids Kool-Aid during a playdate!