Turning Tikes into Tiger Woods: What’s Wrong With Sports For Babies?
Healthy Activity -- or Crazed Competition?
I never have to wait around for very long, or dig very deep, to find something to be either baffled or outraged about when it comes to modern parenting. Yesterday’s crazy-making dose came in the form of a New York Times article about sports for babies.
Yes, I meant to write “babies.”
The article opens with a quote from a woman named Doreen Bolhuis, whose company, Gymtrix, sells DVDs of activity programs for kids as young as 6 months. There’s something about the idea of promoting organized physical activity for babies and toddlers that, to me, straddles the line between “good idea!” and “how crazy, exactly, have we become?” The good idea part is simple: if a parent buys a set of videos and watches them with her 10-month-old baby, and it prompts them to roll around on the floor and play and tumble, but it doesn’t replace other, non-video forms of physical play, isn’t that a good thing? Of course it is. But the “how crazy” part creeps in when parents buy these videos as a super-early start in the world of sports for kids: seeing a straight line connecting baby tumbling videos, pee-wee soccer, competitive lacrosse at age 8, football at 10, high-school glory on one field or court or another, and of course a college scholarship. Here’s a quote from Ms. Bolhuis:
We hear all the time from families that have been with us, ‘Our kids are superstars when they’re in middle school and they get into sports.’
Another company selling baby-centered sports DVDs, also mentioned in the article, is Baby Goes Pro. I watched a bit of promotional video on the website, during which I think I threw up in my mouth a little. This groundbreaking series, the founders enthuse, don’t simply promote physical activity (and provide a break in mom’s day so she can “wash the dishes,” and yes, they say this). They also depict “technically correct” sports skills. It’s all very cool and colorful, lots of rainbow-hued golf balls piling up, say, but then the pint-sized viewers (some of whom can’t stand up yet, presumably) are treated to sights such as a professional golfer demonstrating the proper swing, or a close-up of a baseball batter mid-swing, or a soccer goalie executing the perfect save. All in primary colors, and with musical interludes with a cartoon monkey, M.K. (You have to have a cartoon mascot, after all!)
The founders, two women, chat amiably, as if they’re guests on The View, about how awesome it for parents and kids to have fun with sports and physical activity (with which I wholeheartedly agree) but how, it’s just amazing that watching these videos promotes proper use of sports equipment, and teaches real skills that (it’s not said but it’s strongly implied) will give your child a leg up in competitive sports as he grows. (It is called “Baby Goes Pro,” after all, not “Baby Has Some Fun Goofing Around With a Wiffle Bat and Some Plastic Golf Balls.”)
They actually say — I’m not making this up — that if your kid has watched these videos, and then goes to play golf at age four, he’ll instinctively know how to properly pick up and use the club. Here’s a direct quote:
If you have a three or four year old who’s been watching the video, and he goes to the golf course, he’ll know how to grip a golf club,” says one woman. “And that’s confidence!” enthuses her partner.
Really? That’s confidence? I’m not sure I’d call it that. Delusion is maybe more apt. Or even better: the path to the absolute opposite of what you hope to achieve. Because I’m thinking, the four-year-old who can correctly hold a nine-iron will either be Tiger Woods (and we see how often someone like that comes along), or will be the kid who gives up sports at 13 because he just can’t take the pressure anymore.
What’s sticking in my craw today is how these videos and programs latch on to what is actually a good idea — getting kids and parents enthused about physical activity — and twist it into yet another way for parents to be anxious and competitive, and pass those feelings on to their children.
What do you think?
December 2, 2010 @ 11:59 am
Great post, Denise.
I had mixed feeling about the article (ok, I only watched the video clip online), but you’ve addressed them all. It’s good to roll around on the floor, it’s bad to think that this is some kind of head start to excel in a particular sport.
The baby goes pro woman compares it to reading to babies. Okay, but you don’t force feed ABCs or reading until *toddler* is ready. Babies and toddlers and preschoolers alike are naturally motivated to move their bodies – basically our job is to trust the process.
December 2, 2010 @ 12:00 pm
I wondered why my kids didn’t become major league sports stars. I failed them miserably. If I had been a Good Mom, *I* would have thought of this.
Sigh. My poor, poor kids.
December 2, 2010 @ 12:15 pm
Well maybe we should put our stock in pediatric orthopedists, since there will be plenty of overuse injuries among the preschool set.
Your last paragraph says it all for me, Denise. Well put.
December 2, 2010 @ 1:09 pm
We should let children be children. At my job, I see kids being ferried from one activity to the next and these kids are bone tired. They just want to rest and do . . . nothing. I think it’s sad (and quite telling) that folks don’t think it’s enough to wait a whole 4 years (which is when many start) to have their child in every sport and activity they could possibly squeeze in after school and on the weekend.
I actually think parents these days are already overly-anxious and overly-competitive. Videos like these capitalize on that and help said parents part with their money. Plain and simple. Good business savvy if you ask me.
December 2, 2010 @ 2:15 pm
My cynicism about our society and culture increases daily. Have we lost all common sense? Does no one trust his or her instincts anymore? Are we so easily swayed by such silly marketing tactics of the latest person trying to make a buck? Apparently so. I agree with Chi-Chi that parents are overly-anxious and overly-competitive. We all struggle with the challenges of parenthood, but we own it to our kids to use our brains and our wisdom to judge such things with reason and reflection. If a kid is a natural athlete, that will become apparent in due time. Some less athletically able kid is not going to soar ahead because of some video he or she watched when he was 6 months old.
December 5, 2010 @ 12:56 am
Great post. My sentiments exactly, except for this:
“The good idea part is simple: if a parent buys a set of videos and watches them with her 10-month-old baby, and it prompts them to roll around on the floor and play and tumble, but it doesn’t replace other, non-video forms of physical play, isn’t that a good thing? Of course it is.”
I don’t believe these videos do anybody any good at all. In my experience working with many families over the years, I have found parents don’t tend to “watch” videos with their 10 month old babies. They use videos because they need a break, and if you put a baby in front of a screen the baby tends to become mesmerized, still, and quiet. So then parents can effectively take a “break” and get something done, and know that their child is relatively safe and pacified for half an hour or so.
The sad part is that babies don’t learn anything at all from these videos, but they can become hooked on being passively entertained, and then not be able to occupy themselves for any length of time, thus making a parent’s job more difficult in the long run.
Babies don’t need to be “prompted” to roll around on the floor and tumble; it is what they do naturally, when they are given the opportunity to play and explore freely in a safe place, and it’s generally all but impossible for parents to resist joining in at times, because it’s just so much fun.
The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends no screen time at all for children under the age of two, and limited time after the age of two. Excess screen time has been associated with obesity, and a host of other problems in the long run, so it would seem products like this one would serve to have exactly the opposite outcomes than the intended ones.
In the parent/baby classes I teach, I help parents learn to create a safe play space for baby, provide plenty of outdoor time, and make appropriate toys, or equipment available at the right time, based on what baby is doing, and seems interested in.
Then it’s just a matter of allowing babies to develop their skills at their own pace, in their own way. This also serves to maintain a child’s intrinsic motivation, and allows them to develop the ability to play independently – no videos needed.
There is a time and a place for coaching and instruction, but that time is not until much later in a child’s development, and the coaching ideally comes from a person, and not a screen. I really believe the companies that manufacturer and sell this garbage are unethical.
December 6, 2010 @ 2:54 pm
Lisa,
Thank you so much for your thoughtful, thorough reply! I appreciate that you took the time, and your opinion is well-said — plus, I agree! Yes, in the best of all possible worlds, these videos would be a sort of good idea IF parents used them in the way the makers (cynically) say they intend (all in fun, etc.), and IF they were merely a side note to an already vibrant, active life. But they’re not, because the makers’ motivation is money, not the health of our children, and the parents who buy them do so either to fill in time, or to actually (boggles my mind!) start real sports training in the deluded belief that it gives them an edge. As my friend and faithful reader Sally, in her reply, said, “have we lost all common sense?” Unfortunately, many parents — the parenting culture as a whole — has lost common sense in favor of what experts (or even fake experts like the makers of videos like this and other, similar products) tell them is right. We all just follow the latest whatever from pillar to post. Gotta do this… have to do that… my child needs this… my child has to have that/do that/learn that…
And when we follow that, our instinct gradually atrophies. And sometimes if we listen, our instincts tell us things like, “don’t spend your money on that!”
Again, thanks for your comment, and I hope you keep reading!
Denise
December 6, 2010 @ 11:00 pm
In addition to the well made points, I believe that pushing kids at the “normal” age of 4 to play organize sports when they aren’t ready is just as detrimental. I was a college athlete playing division 1 soccer. I know that an influential factor for my success is that my parents allowed me to try a variety of activities. I always had to finish a season, round or performance, and could never do more than two activities at a time. I started to play travel soccer at age 12, and still play in an adult woman’s league on Saturdays. I think the end goal we want for our children is to gain a skill that they love, and brings them joy throughout their life right?
But many many of my sports peers, were burned out by high school, a time that I believe you need a team and friends the most. Because they had been playing since they were 4 or 5, and said they only did it because my parents want me to, it was easy for them to wonder what their identity was and be more vulnerable to experiment with substances.
As a parent, there were many of the kids in my son’s class signing up to do 3 year-old pee wee soccer. I thought it’d be a great way to make friends (parents and kids alike). Instead, I witnessed yelling parents, crying kids, and bewildered coaches. He’s 5 and a half now, and every once in a while he asks about soccer. And if he were to ask seriously, we’d give it another try.
This isn’t to say we can’t get our kids involved. Art, music, choir, or individual motor skill sports like swimming or gymnastics are things he has done. I guess it’s all about trusting your gut, like you said, and taking the time to pay attention to your own kids, what is the best for them, and not the cookie cutter marketing that is all about making money. We are after all, the parents of our children.
January 17, 2011 @ 10:21 pm
Sounds kind of like the Tiger Mom, actually.