My kids' new best friend. Will he make them fat and violent?
Starting this week (and hopefully continuing because it turns out to be wildly successful!), I’m instituting Mean Mom’s Question Time. Because I got to thinking: I can write (and write, and write, and write), but I’d rather discuss sometimes. So. Here’s the topic for Week One of Mean Mom’s Question Time:
How much TV do your kids watch?
The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends no boob tube for babies and toddlers under age 2, and a limited amount thereafter. Baby “education” DVD and video creators tried to get around this by touting their products as not-TV (think, HBO for kids; you know how HBO says, “it’s not TV, it’s HBO”?). But that bubble got a pin in it last year when the big mama of this multi-gazillion-dollar business, Baby Einstein, agreed to pay back parents who felt their babies didn’t get smarter after all.
Just today, I saw yet another article citing a study suggesting that children who watch TV a lot at age 2 don’t do quite as well at, well, life when they’re a bit older (in this study’s case, fourth grade). We’ve all seen lots of studies about how TV makes kids more violent, or less smart, or fatter, or more likely to eat crappy food and drink sugary (or high-fructose-corn-syrupy) soda.
You know, I buy it. I do. And I also don’t buy it. Why?
Well, put simply, my kids have watched TV since they were little, and at ages 5 and 7, they’re both smart, and normal, and not obese or violent at all.
Truth be told, until this very year, they never watched commercial TV. They just got into SpongeBob SquarePants, and by “got into” I mean “have become completely obsessed with.” Before this year, they progressed from (yes, I know) Baby Einstein videos and Sesame Street, to years of total devotion to Noggin, to a brief detour into Playhouse Disney (think Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, Handy Manny, and Tigger & Pooh).
But now they love, love, love SpongeBob and Jimmy Neutron and Fairly Odd Parents, and even (though I swore I’d never tell), they’ll watch a little iCarly (if SpongeBob is on next, say). And so, not coincidentally, I suddenly hear things like this out of my boys’ mouths:
Can we get Apple Jacks? It’s part of a complete breakfast!
and,
Mom! Mom! You have to get this stuff, you spray it on the bathroom, and it’s white and bubbles up, and you wipe it off and it’s all clean!
But here’s the thing. I have told them (and I’ll continue to tell them, as many times as I can squish it into a conversation) that these crazy things called commercials exist solely to make stuff you can buy look so amazingly good you want to buy it, but you don’t have to, and really, it’s not all that. It looks better than it is, and anyway, Mom’s not getting you Apple Jacks, full stop.
And you know what? They get it. They get (with a “we’re smarter than the average bear” attitude that, frankly, I enjoy fostering) that falling for the lure of commercials is something other people do. But not us.
Also they don’t get it. That is, they don’t get the Apple Jacks. They also don’t get soda. That’s the bit in those nearly annual studies about how TV makes kids fat and violent that I genuinely don’t understand: That kids who watch too much TV are more likely to drink too much soda. Well, OK, but who’s buying the soda?
I do understand, of course, the relationship between watching TV and not doing other things that can stimulate the mind and exercise the body. But I’m in control of (a) how much TV the boys watch (and I’m not 100% strict about that, surprising as that might seem; the days and hours vary according to my mood, their mood, and how busy I am with other things — gasp! It’s true!; and (b) what food and drinks inhabit our fridge and pantry. Also, we ride bikes, take walks, play in the park, go to our soccer games, and read lots and lots of books.
But we also watch TV. (Wait, I do have one rule. No TV after dinner; that’s mom’s time, after the dishes are done but before it’s bath/bed/book time, to watch House Hunters International, though they do sometimes enjoy watching that with me, and guessing which beachside condo or breathtaking, jealousy-inducing casita the inexplicably wealthy family from England or Canada or California are buying in Turks & Caicos or wherever).
I’m not making excuses. I read the studies and I make my own choices. I watched a lot of TV as a kid, as I remember. I’m neither fat nor stupid nor violent. Is there something inherently wrong with passive entertainment, sometimes? SpongeBob can be pretty funny. So can House Hunters International.
OK, so here’s my question: How much TV do your kids watch, or did they watch as babies/toddlers? What do you think of studies that link (though not as a direct cause, but a link, they’re always careful to say) TV with less intellectual capacity and poorer health?
Are you satisfied with your choices, your rules (or lack thereof)? Are you conflicted?
Let me know! Ask your friends! Let’s get the conversation started.
my little guy just turned two and he hasn’t watched any tv or video, with the exception of a few half-third-periods of hockey during the olympics and on a couple of plane flights (desperate times…). for us it was a conscious choice from the get-go to avoid the stuff. i suppose we’ll let it in sooner or later, but at this point he doesn’t care, doesn’t know about it and is so involved with his hands-on play that finding time for tv would just chip into that.
My DS is 12 and watches a fairly limited amount of TV. When he was born we had just moved into a new house which did not have cable available, then we decided not to get cable. This means we’re limited to broadcast, which is pretty limited
When he was little he watched Sesame Street and other PBS shows (including Teletubbies) probably about 1 hour a day (maybe a bit more when the sitter was around), but now most days doesn’t watch any, and then on weekends will watch a movie or two and the Simpsons. We do let him play games on the computer – an attraction which comes and goes.. but don’t have any gaming systems or hand held games.
Oh, wow, I get to be first?
Okay, well, here’s my take: first off, I don’t have kids, yet. But, I do have opinions and this is a hot button for me.
I’ve long since heard tolled the perils of evil tv. Violence, rough language, lack of exercise, poor diet, all the big ones that everyone else is hearing.
It runs parallel to a host of complaints I hear at the local library (I’m a librarian) that books are too violent, or too sexual, or use bad language, or don’t portray things in a realistic manner or whatever the complaint may be.
I’ve often wondered, instead of complaining about the lack of inherent value in the item (tv, book, graphic novel, movie, etc.) why not use it as an opportunity to teach? Just because something is in poor taste or of poor quality doesn’t mean it will infect the world around (ie the ones who read and watch). If a book has a scene with seemingly gratuitous violence, why not tell the inquisitive child about violence and espouse your personal views on the subject? Children are smart and can grasp concepts beyond their years, but this shouldn’t be the excuse we use to shield them from the outside world, it should, instead, be the impetus to help them understand the world better.
Evil exists. So do violence, bad words, bad advertising, and sex. They’re not going anywhere, so isn’t it a better plan to figure out the best way to handle these topics when they come up? ‘Cause with all the trumpeters out there extolling the horrors of television, it hasn’t gone away. In fact, there is MORE children’s programming than ever and it isn’t all of a higher quality.
And that is my novel-length response to this great topic!
Interesting topic! I have 2 kids – both girls, ages 7 and 2. The 7 year old watched a fair amount of tv as a toddler/preschooler – all Noggin or PBS type stuff. Now, she hardly watches anything but it’s because she doesn’t ask to; we’d let her watch a reasonable amount if she wanted. SpongeBob is an every-once-in-a-great-while treat (like on vacation in a hotel), and I never let her watch any of the shows I call “teeny bopper” shows – i.e. iCarly, Hannah Montana, etc, even tho many of her friends watch them. To me, they aren’t age appropriate. If she watches anything, it’s cartoons like Scooby-Doo or a Barbie movie. The little one couldn’t possibly care less about tv, unless it’s “Full House”!!! She loves that. ?????? She will watch Elmo only on Sesame Street now and then, but that’s it. She simply doesn’t care – we haven’t tried to keep her from watching, she just isn’t interested in it yet. We’ve had the same attitude and outlook with both of them, but they’ve had different preferences about tv. They’re both pretty smart – the older one is certified gifted and is an incredible reader, and guess what? She learned lots of neat stuff on tv when she was little, from Blue or Dora or Sesame Street. We have no strict rules about tv – the only one is no tv in the mornings before school because it’s too distracting, and we are strict about the actual shows they are allowed to watch. But as far as time spent, we’re laidback and it has worked out very well for us. I’m not a micromanager and sometimes an hour of tv allows me to rest my eyes on the couch or get some chores done, and that’s not all bad!
Totally hear you. What I think is odd about those recommendations is that they completely fail to take into account that babies and toddlers might be *in the same room as* big kids and adults who are, you know, watching TV. If I’m holding Clara, my 13-month-old, while watching HGTV or the Food Network, does that count as “watching TV”? If she’s in the room while my four-year-old is watching Yo Gabba Gabba and looks at the TV for two or three minutes, does THAT count? It just kind of doesn’t take into account the reality of modern family life, which yes, often does include television and other forms of electronic media.
We’ve taken a similar approach as you. While we may choose to unload the cable again soon (all I really watch these days is HGTV and the bill just makes me mad every month) it won’t be because I’m afraid of television’s evil effects on my kids. Like anything else, the secret is in moderation, and using this particular form of entertainment mindfully. In our house that means lots of discussion and some oversight of what the kids are allowed to watch…but not a lot of clock-watching.
I would say that my son likely watches more TV than most kids. But he also plays outside every decent day, takes swimming lessons, has an intensely active imagination, and doesn’t care if the TV is on or off.
My 18 month old is a Dora addict. I don’t quite know how it happened, but she is completely and utterly smitten with our little backpack toting friend, and I figure she can enjoy it.
I can live with it. I think the recommendations are fine in isolation where they don’t consider the realities of anyone’s lives, but I’m not surprised by that. Very few of these things do consider the fact that parents have lives and sometimes need help. Even if that help comes in the form of a box.
I’ve tried to keep a handle on how much my two girls watch — unlike my parents, who gave me free rein to watch all the after-school Oprah and HBO I wanted — but they still watch what for me seems like a lot: the three-year-old probably does 1.5 hours a day, and the eight-year-old a half hour or 45 minutes. That’s on weekdays; on weekends it’s no holds barred. I just read an interview where Michelle Obama said her kids didn’t watch any TV at all on weekdays, and when I presented it to Older Daughter she said, “Yeah, I don’t think I could do that.”
We severely limit the amount of tv my three kids watch (5,3, and 1) but only because I HATE commercials and I never know what’s coming on any given show. They are, however, allowed to watch a movie or two a day (30 min-1 hour). I feel more comfortable because I contol the content and I know exactly what’s on so I don’t have to monitor it as much and can get some stuff done. It’s pretty hard to have 3 kids at home full time and NOT use the tv. We also play outside a lot and I feel like I do a pretty good job of balancing their activities.
We didn’t let our son watch tv until after he turned 2. Then it was PBS, Noggin, etc. He’s almost 7 and we finally graduated to SpongeBob. I don’t like the commercials either, so we talk about it often.
We’ve had the same conversation as you, Denise, about how we are too smart to fall for those marketing tricks–and one of the talks came after he wanted to get the blue cleaner that turns white when it’s finished!
I’m really not worried about the amount because my husband and I both read way more than we watch tv. So as long as my son continues to log more hours doing other things, I don’t see myself stressing over it.
With my first child, who is now 12, I worried about the amount of TV he would watch. I wasn’t overly strict about it but I worried…a lot. Mostly because I had some nutty, crunchy friends who didn’t even own TVs. I felt like it was our dirty little secret that Elmo would babysit my son while I sank into the couch for a power nap. I felt guilty that sometimes because it was eleventy-hundred degrees outside (I live in hot, humid Savannah, GA) I chose to let my son watch Jimmy Neutron instead of subjecting us both to temperatures sure to induce anger and impatience for the rest of the day. But here’s the thing – he watched his fair share of brightly colored boob tube characters singing and dancing to some frenzied, toddler trance-inducing silly song and, drumroll, please, he’s pretty okay. I mean he can be a tween-aged pain in the arse, but his screen time certainly didn’t make him stupid. In his free time he teaches himself calculus. Just sayin’. So my second son is now 4 and I don’t really monitor his TV time all that much. We do plenty of other stuff so when he wants to veg out and watch Handy Manny, I let him. I think he’ll be just fine. At least many of today’s shows have some educational value. When I was a kid I just watched shows where ducks got their butts kicked by snarky bunnies and coyotes spent their time devising ways to annihilate roadrunners. And I still turned out pretty okay!
My 2 and 4 year olds watch a half hour of Noggin or PBS every night at 7:30 before our bedtime routine. I find that it a) calms them down from all the running around and other activities which have come before it; b) lets my husband and I actually eat dinner together and have a conversation; and c) it’s something I can use to bribe them (if you don’t pick up all your toys, no TV tonight). And I mean it. And I do it. And it works. I like using that better than an affirmative bribe (if you clean it up I will give you jelly beans!) which I reserve for things like potty training. The whole system works well and I don’t think that they are losing brain cells or getting fat during those 30 minutes. I do stick to channels w/o commercials though. And sometimes, I watch Olivia with them because seriously, that pig is adorable.
My DS is 12 and watches a fairly limited amount of TV. When he was born we had just moved into a new house which did not have cable available, then we decided not to get cable. This means we’re limited to broadcast, which is pretty limited
When he was little he watched Sesame Street and other PBS shows (including Teletubbies) probably about 1 hour a day (maybe a bit more when the sitter was around), but now most days doesn’t watch any, and then on weekends will watch a movie or two and the Simpsons. We do let him play games on the computer – an attraction which comes and goes.. but don’t have any gaming systems or hand held games.
My DD will be 4 in a couple of months. She has watched much more than the “recommended” amount of video, every day, for most of her life. No matter what the experts say, I believe that no one way of learning is elevated over another. I thoughtfully choose the videos that are purchased and the programs we record from satellite TV. Since we only watch recordings from TV, I am able to fast forward through any commercials. About half the time I sit and watch with her, otherwise I’m nearby doing house work or on the computer or reading.
In my opinion, because it is not tightly regulated, visual media is not seen as all powerful to my daughter. Lots of time she will play with toys or draw while a show is on. She has a large vocabulary, vivid imagination, great social skills with both kids and adults, is physically fit, loves nature, art, and books too.
My own experience shows me that the studies against media consumption are flawed in their narrow scope and fear based in their recommendations. However, I will admit that the way we use media on our home does feel like a “dirty little secret” some times. There is so much pressure to do otherwise. Also there are many friends in my small community (2000 yr round residents) that strictly prohibit media of any kind. I obviously believe otherwise, but do not want to be judged or labeled by folks we see every day at the market, post office, etc…